I thank my dependency on carbonated diet drinks for my safety last Sunday.  Just seconds out of the car, into the gas station (Allsup’s) and standing in front of the cold drinks…boom.  Seizure.

I should have known better.  I was tired, really sleepy.  I also couldn’t form sentences correctly.  I was misfiring.  After my father lifted me up, out of the store, back into the passenger seat of the car, I came to.  I didn’t know where I was, why Mom was driving, why the dog was with my parents, and I surely did NOT have another one.  No, not another one.  I was doing so good!  I was fine!  The medication was the right amount!  The hormone replacement was not interfering because I wasn’t going on and off. 

The worst part of epilepsy is the helplessness.  I can’t stop a seizure, and my little ques of an oncoming tonic clonic are usually only noticed in hind sight because they change or are very minor.  My loved ones look so angry…so angry.  I slept!  I did!  I took my Tegretol, I did!  I feel they hate me for this.  I just hate this.

I count my blessings.  God has protected me thus far.   Why I have epilepsy, I don’t know.  Somewhere in the genes of my father’s side it laid, waiting for the girls.  I have a different hypothesis:  we’re just too intelligent.  Our brains can’t handle it.  It’s overload. 


2 thoughts on “I Just Wanted a Soda

  1. I don’t think your family hates you, I think they’re just worried. Sometimes people come across as mad when they’re worried.

    I’ve noticed that neurological diseases in general tend to strike women more often than men, it probably is a sign of vast intellegence in a puny human casing. 😉

    I hope the neurology clinic helps.

  2. Epilepsy sucks! I like your theory Lawren… too much going on in the brain… maybe if you dumbed it down a bit. No! Don’t do it! You are so smart and the world has a woefully short supply of the truly witty and intellectual.

    Let’s shake our fists at stupid epilepsy, as we pray for a cure. It tried to get you down… and it failed.

    I love you Lawren and hate that you are going through this. It’s epilepsy that angers people… not you… never you. You’re the best Romero we’ve got! ❤

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